


Whose Idea Was This?

by Depths_Of_Erebus



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Hamilton - Miranda, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/F, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Swearing, chatfic, complete and utter fuckery, maybe bmc in the future we'll see, overwhelming amounts of gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-10-05 05:41:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17319062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Depths_Of_Erebus/pseuds/Depths_Of_Erebus
Summary: The Heathers, Hamilton, and Dear Evan Hansen squads made a chatroom, AKA overwhelming amounts of fuckery, memes, gay, and blackmail.





	1. Chapter 1

Alexander: NonStop  
John: GayTurtleBoi  
Lafayette: LaffyTaffy  
Hercules: BRAHBRAH  
Angelica: FeminismBitches  
Eliza: CinnamonRoll  
Peggy: AndPeggy  
Mariah: SmexyBeast  
Veronica: DeadInside  
Heather C: TheMythicBitch  
Heather M: SunshineAndMemes  
Heather D: GreenRanger  
JD: SlushiesAndDeath  
Evan: SmolGae  
Connor: BigGae  
Jared: MemeGod  
Zoe: LeaveMeAloneee

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TheMythicBitch: HEATHER

SunshineAndMemes: yes heather :)

GreenRanger: hmmm?

TheMythicBitch: HEATHER DUKE

GreenRanger: ugh yes?

TheMythicBitch: DID YOU STEAL MY FUKING CURLING IRON

GreenRanger: maybe

TheMythicBitch: BITCH GIVE IT BACK

GreenRanger: but I like it

TheMythicBitch: I WILL STAB YOU SO HARD YOU’LL BE BLEEDING HARDER THAN I AM

FeminismBitches: PLEASE tell me that means that you’re on your period and not suffering from a stab wound.

TheMythicBitch: HEATHER I SWEAR TO GOD ILL SHOVE THE CURLING IRON UP YOUR ASS

SmexyBeast: kinky

MemeGod: im so proud

TheMythicBitch: STFU WHORE

CinnamonRoll: Excuse you  
CinnamonRoll: Did you just call my precious baby girl a whore

GayTurtleBoi: ha gay

NonStop: HYPOCRITE

GayTurtleBoi: I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

TheMythicBitch: HEATHER IM GONNA STAB YOU IN THE DICK WITH MY HIGH HEELS

GreenRanger: ha jokes on you  
GreenRanger: i dont HAVE a dick  
GreenRanger: last time i checked

SunshineAndMemes: she doesn’t ;)

LeaveMeAloneee: um what

BigGae: 10 bucks says those two are fucking

SmolGae: HONEY

BigGae: oh come on  
BigGae: its obvious  
BigGae: also you would know firsthand they arent the only ones ;)

AndPeggy: i’m intrigued

SmolGae: CONNOR

DeadInside: Aaaaaand we’re stopping it there.  
DeadInside: Let’s not hear anyone’s else's implied sexual escapades.  
DeadInside: No more sexual stuff.

SlushiesAndDeath: Veronica love  
SlushiesAndDeath: You seem to have forgotten last night ;)

                                                              **DeadInside has left the chat**

SlushiesAndDeath: Well  
SlushiesAndDeath: Gonna take a lot of oral to make up for that

MemeGod: deep inhale  
MemeGod: KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY


	2. Oh Look! A Triad Of Aggressive Lesbians

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Heathers get busted, people continue to be kinky.

BigGae: someone owes me 10 bucks  
BigGae: cuz i just caught Mac and Duke making out

SunshineAndMemes: …

GreenRanger: …

TheMythicBitch: why did you guys not invite me

BigGae: aaaaand 10 bucks says theyre ALL fucking

BRAHBRAH: i’ll take those odds  
BRAHBRAH: i just wanna see what happens here

BigGae: its a deal

DeadInside: They are.  
DeadInside: I have photographic evidence.  
DeadInside: I took it at a party.  
DeadInside: bitchygays.jpg

TheMythicBitch: MOTHERFUCKER

BigGae: @BRAHBRAH  
BigGae: 10 BUCKS

BRAHBRAH: DAMNIT

TheMythicBitch: VERONICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DeadInside: Yeah, I’m gonna die tonight.  
DeadInside: Well, might as well enjoy my life while it lasts.  
DeadInside: @SlushiesAndDeath  
DeadInside: Meet me in my room in 10 minutes.

SlushiesAndDeath: Oh HELL yes  
SlushiesAndDeath: Let’s DO THIS

SmolGae: Jared, don’t you dare 

MemeGod: damnit evan why wont you let me kinky

AndPeggy: new favorite sentence

NonStop: i need to make myself an oxiclean cocktail

LaffyTaffy: Would you mind if I join you, mon ami?

NonStop: nah man, let’s go

FeminismBitches: Did the Heather’s gayness just cause 3 deaths, one lost bet, and one hookup?

GreenRanger: new record

LeaveMeAloneee: wait what?

GreenRanger: nothing


	3. Sleep Deprived And Strangely Philosophical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My brain hurts from writing this...

BigGae: woah you guys  
BigGae: i just thought of something  
BigGae: why does pizza come in a square box if it’s round?

GreenRanger: wh-  
GreenRanger: wh-  
GreenRanger: woah my brain hurts now

SlushiesAndDeath: Shockingly philosophical question from the stoned gay emo  
SlushiesAndDeath: Here’s another one  
SlushiesAndDeath: Why is the expression we use “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every 2-3 hours?

SunshineAndMemes: HELP MY BRAIN BROKE

TheMythicBitch: Why are you IN a movie but ON tv?

GayTurtleBoi: asjkewukseyvoiuwvsa stooooooooooop

NonStop: im so sorry my love but i have to  
NonStop: do fish get thirsty?

GayTurtleBoi: AJSKWSOIJYWNYCWUYENYUIOWYC ALEX WHY

NonStop: hehe

AndPeggy: if new zealand exists, where was old zealand?

MemeGod: how do mermaids fuck?

FeminismBitches: IT’S 3 AM, GO TO FUCKING SLEEP!


	4. Heather, What The Fuck?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather, no one needed to know that...

GreenRanger: okay who did this  
GreenRanger: someone needs to die

SmolGae: What happened?

GreenRanger: someone stole all my bras and my vibrator

SmolGae: …

BigGae: heather wtf  
BigGae: you broke my boyfriend  
BigGae: also why would you tell us that

GreenRanger: BECAUSE WHOEVER STOLE IT NEEDS TO DIE

TheMythicBitch: i took the vibrator  
TheMythicBitch: mine broke

SmolGae: GUYS, DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS HERE

GreenRanger: YES

SmexyBeast: you literally have 2 girlfriends  
SmexyBeast: why do you NEED a vibrator

SlushiesAndDeath: DO THIS SOMEWHERE ELSE  
SlushiesAndDeath: IT’S BAD ENOUGH THAT I WALKED IN ON THE 3 OF YOU LAST NIGHT  
SlushiesAndDeath: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT WORSE

GreenRanger: HEATHER IM GONNA SHOVE THAT VIBRATOR SO DEEP UP YOUR ASS YOULL HAVE TO PULL IT OUT YOUR THROAT

LaffyTaffy: Aaaaaand there goes all remaining shreds of the dignity of every male here

NonStop: no kidding

GayTurtleBoi: i need to rinse my eyes with bleach

FeminismBitches: Even I’M uncomfortable…

DeadInside: Oh, I took the bras.  
DeadInside: It’s payback for you pouring beet juice in my underwear drawer and then telling everyone the stains were period stains.

GreenRanger: …  
GreenRanger: truce

DeadInside: Truce, bitch.

TheMythicBitch: im keeping this vibrator  
TheMythicBitch: its nice, and you cant do anything about it

GreenRanger: you fucking suck

TheMythicBitch: yeah, you would know firsthand

SmolGae: I need to go watch The Office  
SmolGae: It’s free therapy  
SmolGae: Everyone who was traumatized by this can join.

LaffyTaffy: It’s heroes like you who make this country great


	5. The Important Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now we have ascended into complete idiocy...

CinnamonRoll: I’M RIGHT AND I KNOW IT

SlushiesAndDeath: THE ONLY THING YOU’VE EVER BEEN RIGHT ABOUT IS DUMPING ALEXANDER FOR THE WOMAN HE CHEATED WITH

NonStop: ...this is a group chat guys…  
NonStop: ...ouch...

CinnamonRoll: Yeah we know  
CinnamonRoll: Also you can’t talk, John f*cker

GayTurtleBoi: yeah he is ;)

NonStop: JOHN STFU

FeminismBitches: What is this argument about?

CinnamonRoll: WATER IS WET

SlushiesAndDeath: WATER IS NOT WET YOU UNCULTURED SWINE

  

SunshineAndMemes: what a strange insult

DeadInside: Wait, let’s hear the arguments each side has.

CinnamonRoll: Water is wet because it is always in contact with itself  
CinnamonRoll: Water is always touching water therefore water is wet

GreenRanger: ooh im with her cuz sciency words

LeaveMeAloneee: Yeah valid point

SlushiesAndDeath: Water isn’t wet because it is the substance that makes things wet. You wouldn’t call fire “burnt”. Water is a substance that makes things wet, but it itself is not wet because that scientifically makes no sense. 

MemeGod: damn how long have you guys spent on this

CinnamonRoll: 7 hours

AndPeggy: guys wtf

FeminsimBitches: I’m gonna go with the emo masochist.

SlushiesAndDeath: I mean, can’t really disagree  
LaffyTaffy: The funny thing about this is that both sides have really good arguments but the way they are arguing is so juvenile…

CinnamonRoll: I’M RIGHT THOUGH

SlushiesAndDeath: NO YOU AREN’T

DeadInside: I’m gonna go reconsider my life decisions…

SmexyBeast: You and me both girl…


	6. The Bee Movie Strikes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ACCORDING TO ALL KNOW LAWS OF AVIATION

SunshineAndMemes: According to all know laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly

MemeGod: HAHA SHES DOING IT YES

FeminismBitches: I’m sorry, what’s happening?

TheMythicBitch: Jared got Mac to recite the entire Bee Movie Script

SunshineAndMemes: The bee of course, flies anyway  
SunshineAndMemes: Because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible

DeadInside: Oh no...  
DeadInside: Not again…

BigGae: i for one am enjoying myself

SlushiesAndDeath: I suppose that has nothing to do with the fact that you are cuddling your boyfriend so passionately if you did it in public you’d be arrested?

BigGae: oh shut up emo druggie

LeaveMeAloneee: Hypocrite

BigGae: love you too sis

SunshineAndMemes: Yellow, black, yellow, black, yellow, black, yellow, black, yellow, black, ooh black and yellow!

MemeGod: oh thisll be fun

FeminismBitches: How long does this go for?

MemeGod: till the script is finished

SunshineAndMemes: Yeah, lets shake it up a little!


	7. RIP Peggy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy, ya done goofed...

MemeGod: EVERYONE I MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE

TheMythicBitch: being alive?

MemeGod: oh fuck off heather your jacket looks like your panties on the 25th

TheMythicBitch: wait are you tracking my menstrual cycle

MemeGod: possibly  
MemeGod: ANYWAY  
MemeGod: I MADE A HORRIBLE MISTAKE

LaffyTaffy: What happened this time? 

Memegod: I TAUGHT PEGGY HOW TO HACK IM SORRY

AndPeggy: HAHAHAHAHA I KNOW EVERYONES SECRETS

FeminismBitches: JARED, YOU IGNORANT BASTARD.  
FeminismBitches: DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU’VE DONE?

AndPeggy: HMM THESE ARE SOME INTERESTING DMS @DEADINSIDE @SLUSHIESANDDEATH

SlushiesAndDeath: PEGGY, NO

AndPeggy: HMMM THIS IS SOME KINKY SHIT  
AndPeggy: “I WANNA RIDE YOUR D#%$ TILL IT BREAKS”

GreenRanger: damn veronica

BigGae: thou hast been exposed

AndPeggy: “COME OVER BABY, I WANNA SEE YOUR ‘CANDY STORE’

BigGae: you scoundrels

TheMythicBitch: hahaHAHA damn these dms are hornier than me

SlushiesAndDeath: Peggy, do you realize what you’ve done?

DeadInside: Hahahahahaha

SlushiesAndDeath: Oh shit, it’s beginning

FeminismBitches: Why are you laughing?! This is awful!

DeadInside: Because, I just purchased a new machete that I am DYING to try out.

BigGae: …

LeaveMeAloneee: …

LaffyTaffy: …

GayTurtleBoi: …

SunshineAndMemes: PEGGY, RUN!

AndPeggy: ha yeah right she doesnt even know where i OMG WTF WHY DOES SHE HAVE A SWORD HOW HOLY SHIT IM GONNA DIE HELP

SlushiesAndDeath: I waaarned youuu…

AndPeggy: SHE JUST BROKE A WINDOW 

TheMythicBitch: Uh oh she’s going psycho again this isnt good

DeadInside: ANY LAST WORDS?

AndPeggy: NO REGERTS

BigGae: can we get an F in the chat


End file.
